Now, this is what should happen when we open our mouths...
#TestimonyTalks Y'all know I love a good testimony!
This past Sunday at church, my pastor preached on insecurities. The anointing on that message was powerful and absolutely yoke-breaking. Here's the link...you snapped Pastor Sam ----->https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhFfev2YXcM&t=264s
While he was preaching, I sat there dissecting every insecurity I could think of known to man concerning myself.
"DeLisa, you doubt yourself."
"DeLisa, be honest...you have trust issues with God."
"DeLisa, you worry about what others think."
And I have to be honest, it was hard. It was just a little too much truth coming my way, but I had to sit in it. Nobody ever, ever, ever, ever wants to admit they have some insecurities. Now we might say we have some very nonchalantly, but we're not trying to call them out by name. It's easy to just say, "Yeah, I have some insecurities.", but it's a little more difficult to say, "I suffer from people-pleasing, or I doubt God more times than I would like to admit."
So right there during service, I laid it all out before Him at His feet. Once the Holy Spirit brought it up, it was time for it to come out! Here it is, Father, my alabaster box filled with the things I've kept and held on to because I believed they kept me safe. At times, I can see how comforting it was and easier to doubt and take matters into my own hands than wait on the Lord and trust His Word.
See, I told you...the truth hurts, but it also heals.
After service, the Lord clearly heard my heart and wouldn't let me leave the church without receiving His comfort from the Comforter Himself. As I was fellowshipping and loving my Anthem Family, a kind lady walked up to me and said my message on "Unforgiveness" at the Soteria Workshop last month blessed her. She shared her story with me and how coming to the workshop was just what she needed in her life. I smiled, gave her a hug, and praised God with her for her testimony, which I can be honest and admit that it totally blew my mind.
See this woman that walked up to me; I saw her at the conference. I couldn't help but see her because she was seated smack dab front and center. She's kind and beautifully spirited, so you can imagine I was so excited to see her at the workshop. While speaking, I would scan the room and often see her face, but it didn't look like she was feeling anything I was saying. No, I'm serious. Whenever I said something funny, it looked like she didn't get it. When I hit some good points...you know them, "Holy Spirit smack you with the "truf" moments," she was sitting there just looking. Even after the workshop was said and done every now and again, the enemy would put this image of her in my head, and I could just see her with this look on her face thinking, "Girl, go sit your butt down somewhere...".
After we hugged and she walked away, I kind of chuckled to myself because God knew just what I needed to hear to overcome these insecurities that keep rising up on the inside.
Revelations 12 says, And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony, and they loved not their lives unto the death.
Here I thought the message was horrible to her, but God was actually delivering her and ministering to her heart. No one knew I had these thoughts and would see these images inside my head, but God. I didn't even tell my own husband because I knew they were all lies, but even knowing it was a lie STILL didn't stop that anxiety from trying to run my mind crazy. I was rebuking and praying, but God knew I needed a testimony to overcome. I was ready to this mess and be free!
Once I exited the lobby and walked outside the front doors, I felt a heaviness leave. Hallelujah!! Immediately, I was free and so much lighter. God is so ready for his sons and daughters to break free from these lies and false truths that the enemy keeps whispering to us or, heck, the ones we say to our own selves...and believe.
I don't know about you, but I'm over it. As a matter of fact, now I'm mad, ready to fight, and ready to rest in my security in Christ. More importantly, I want to get lost in God's love for me and see what that looks like. I want to be engulfed and swim in an ocean full of God's love.
Scripture reads in Romans 8  For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,  Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
When you know you are loved, really loved, you don't see yourself as undeserving of God's promises and goodness. You no longer doubt, believing something bad is waiting just around the corner for you. You'll start knowing God as the Good Good Father and stop comparing him to the people in your life you looked up to but let you down. God's love will cover the sins and insecurities.
Give it to Him. His yokes are easy, and his burdens are light. Man's burdens will weigh you down and overtake you if you let them, but the yoke of the Lord is rest, peace, and contentment.
Every day I've been giving my doubt, pride, lack of trust to God, and I can't lie to y'all. He has taken e-v-e-r-y one and filled me with His spirit. I've fallen more in love with God since Sunday...I know, right! It's a daily thing. I can't lie...sometimes, I feel silly rebuking the same spirit over and over again daily, but now I see why I have to. My flesh has been this way for decades, and now with a shifted mindset, I see this as a requirement for my life. Periodt!
And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. God removing the junk and jacked up thought patterns in my life every time I come to Him in prayer, and in return, I get to get LOST in His love...
Sounds like a great plan to me. You ready to join me?
Dear Lord, my desire is to be lost in your love. I pray that your love will cover every sin and insecurity in me and my entire bloodline. Show me what does it feel like, smell like, sound like, and even taste like. I ask Lord that your love envelopes my existence and being so completely that man sees your love first before they see me. This is my true heart desires, In Jesus Name, Amen.
With Love and Until We Meet Again,
Colossians 3:23-24, And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
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